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God! Its so funny!

Welcome to
Shlomo's Not-so Frum Humor Pages

           "It is a great mitzvah to be happy always!
Make every effort to maintain a happy, positive outlook at all times. It is a natural human tendency to become discouraged and depressed because of the hard sh i ps of life: everyone has their full share of suffering. That is why you must force yourself to be happy at all times. Use every possible way to bring yourself to joy, even by joking or acting a little crazy!" -- Likutey Moharan II, 24

         This section of contains humor that I hope you will enjoy. No offense is ever intended.

Here's Where the Fun Begins!

Read 'Em and Weep! With Laughter!

    Hey, did you hear about the skunk who became a judge?
              I hear he was a real Law and Odor guy!

Jewish and Israeli HumorGo to: Jewish and Israeli Humor

baptist humorGo to: Baptist Humor!

old folks humorGo to: Seasoned Citizen Humor.

gender humorGo to: Gender Humor

political humorGo to: Political Humor

TeleprompterGo to: Is Obama a machine?

    Teleprompter Problems

Another Funny ThingGo to: Another Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Enlightenment
Thus say the world's religions!

Don't pee in the pool!Go to: Don't Pee in the Pool!

CatholicGo to: Catholic Humor

God JokesGo to: God Jokes

afterlife humorGo to: Is there Humor After Death?

Peace?Go to: Can There be Peace in Our Time?

Real letters to GodGo to: Real letters to God from kids.

PoopGo to: Poop: The real meaning of life!

    • Please be advised: Much of the humor on this page is a bit risque'

Words of WisdomGo to: Speaking Words of Wisdom?

    Let it be... PLEASE!

OxymoronsGo to Oxymorons

Liar/lawyerGo to: Liar (I mean Lawyer) Jokes.

PG 13Go to: PG13 Humor

    • Please be advised: Much of the humor on this page is a bit risque'

Computer HumorGo to: Computer Humor and Satire

Microsoft humorMicrosoft's plan to:

    • Buy America!
    • Buy God!
    • New Microsoft frozen dinner instructions.
    • Much more!

More compujokesGo to: More Computer Humor and Satire

All your base...Go to: "All your base are belong to us!"

    My tribute page to the official home of the video that kicked off the "All your Base" craze, transforming it from a tiny inside joke to an explosively popular internet phenomenon!

The last websiteGo to: The last web site on the internet.

My ShroudGo to: The Not-so Sacred Shroud of Shlomo (aka the Shroud of Touring).

hotlineGo To: Our Mental Health Hot Line!

smileGo to: This Will Make You Smile!

Be sure and visit my AllFaith Comix!

Question: "When was the first time medicine was mentioned in the Bible?"

Answer: It was when God gave Moses the tablets!

    O.K., so that was lame! And I suppose it might be offensive to someone (everything's offensive to someone!), but its clean, good hearted humor (unlike the PG 13 humor on my "Poop: The Real Meaning of Life" page!).

Question: "Did you know that God has a motor cycle?"

Answer: Its true! The Bible speaks of the Day of the Lord's Triumph!"

Question: What is God's real Name?

Answer: Its Howard! Jesus said: Our Father Who is in heaven, Howard by thy Name...

    That'll offend someone!

I don't like humor and satire that slams individuals or groups (well, there are some... )

    If you are offended by anything you read here, feel free to let me know and I'll consider removing or editing it (or you could try to out-do it! -- that could be fun for everyone!).

    But I'm NOT into the whole PC thing so I hope your skin's not too thin! Some of what you find IS pretty racy!

Just try and remember that laughter is the best medicine -- and let's face it, we're all at least a little "sick!"

May I suggest?

The Ancient and Noble Path of Chickenism

Could this be the Big Bang?!!!

Python Head Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!

Landover BaptistGo to: Landover Baptist Church, no really, Visit this Church!!!! It will make you wish you were Jewish!!!!!

Find the SpamGo to: Play: Find the Spam!

    Possibly the most difficult game on the entire Internet! Find the Spam! Come on ladies, if you're man enough!

And now for something else completely different...

Its Monkeys on human evolution

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they'd said to be.
Said one to the others, "Now listen you two,
There's a certain rumour that can't be true -
That man descended from our noble race,
The very idea is a disgrace.
No monkey ever deserted his wife,
starved the kids and ruined her life,
And whoever heard of a mother monk,
Leaving her kids with others to bunk;
Or passing them off from one to the other.
Till they scarcely know who was their mother.
Another thing that you never will see,
Is a monk build a fence around a coconut tree,
Forbidding all other monks to taste;
Letting the coconuts go to waste.
Why? If I built a fence around my coconut tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me.
Another thing that a monk wont do,
Is get out at night and go on a stew,
And use a gun, or club, or knife
To take another monkey's life.
Yes, man descended, the "so and so" cuss,
But brother, he didn't descend from us!"

Thanks For Reading
Shlomo's Not-so Frum Humor



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Please note: As it is almost impossible to accurately credit a joke's creator, I do not usually try. Some of the jokes contained here are my creation, most have been collected from the Net and non-virtual reality (remember that? Its called "real life" *smile*). If something in this section is your creation and you want credit for it, please let me know. Thanks.

Be the Blessing you were created to be
Don't let the perfect defeat the good