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True Stories
That Changed My Life
What a short, strange trip its been!
Back in 1975 I was introduced to one of the most remarkable people I have ever met, all the more so as at the time I was still a disgruntled teenager living in what is sometimes called the "Old South." He was the first in a series of seven teachers I was to meet during my life quest.
This sadhu or holy man introduced millions of peoples, including me, to an ancient tradition known as Gaudiya Vaishnavism. His name was His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. He was the founder of what is commonly known as the Hare Krishna Movement. While I was blessed to be in his presence on a few occasions, our time in the physical realm was minimal. Nonetheless, I can honestly say that spiritually this humble swami and his teachings had a most profound impact on my life. He was a master of a spiritual order stemming from Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, an accepted avatar or incarnation of Visnu/Krsna who visited our planet from 1486-1534, though his branch of Vaishnavism dates to centuries earlier. Prabhupada's enlightened teaching of Lord Caitanya's achintya bheda bheda,tattva philosophy, which he introduced to the West, remains an essential cornerstone of my own understandings and faith. Simply stated, this teaching holds that in His absolute glory God is "Inconceivably One and Different" from the creation. Likewise, material nature or (prakriti) is also inconceivably one and differ from manifested existence. I believe this teaching is an essential or perennial Truth granted to the world by the One Truth, the Ek Devata or One God. When Shrila Prabhupada left this earth in 1978, like thousands of his other disciples, I was crushed. Although he was of an advanced age and intellectually his 'death' should not have been a surprise, inwardly we were all shocked. For one thing, he had promised he would not 'die' before completing his literary masterpiece, the Srimad Bhagavatam in English, complete with his purports or commentaries. While he would not have been able to postpone his 'death' forever, as an enlightened master, he did have the ability to decide when it would take place. Many people theorize that he was murdered and offered support that he knew it was happening! More on this below. Srila Prabhupada was more than the honorable disciple of His Divine Grace, Om Visnupad Paramhansa 108 Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Maharaj, he was more than simply our guru or teacher, he was our father, our hope, the pillar around which our lives revolved. The devotees dealt with his disappearance in diverse ways. Personally, I left the temple and went to Florida. I was in a state of shock. In those days, I was involved with many different traditions at the same time. My philosophy was that when I'm with the Krsna devotees, I'm all Vaisnava. When I was with the 'Jesus freaks', I was all Christian, and so on. For this reason, his death probably didn't hit me as hard as it did the others, but it was difficult. As with the Witnesses, I had placed my faith in a group and in this case in a specific leader, only to see it fail. After various adventures in the land of oranges, I met Melody/Linda (one of my envisioned teachers), as well as Ed and Ann (whom I discuss elsewhere). Eventually I found myself back in an ISKCON temple again. I walked in for the early morning worship service (mangal-aratik) and there, seated on a great vyasasan (or throne) sat my master! I was shocked! I skirted around the crowded temple room with the other devotees, who were busy chanting the morning japa or prayers, but my eyes were fixed on him. Had Prabhupada, like Jesus, risen from the dead? I supposed it might be possible. The devotees always said, "The guru never dies" but I had taken it metaphorically. After circumambulating the temple room as dictated by tradition, I finally made my way back around to where he sat, I left the quick walking ring of devotees and fell on my face before my risen Gurudev. I remember my eyes were filled with tears and I was shaking as I lifted my body from the cool marble floor and looked up into those holy eyes... but... It was not Prabhupada! Well, according to Vaisnava beliefs it was, but it was my Gurudev in a man-made form or image (murti). Still, it WAS Prabhupada. While I had not been in his presence that many times, I had been enough to recognize the divine power emanating from his person. I sat at his feet, gazing up at him and quietly chanted my Gayatri mantra. The first portion of this mantra is as follows: Soon the lights in the room dimmed, the curtain at the other end of the room was jerked suddenly open as Brahmin priests sounded their conks, announcing that it was time to greet the Deities of the Lord. Everyone moved toward the alter, bowed three times to their Lordships and sang the old Bengali and Sanskrit prayers. As the excitement of worship faded and the curtains again hid their Lordships from our mortal view, I returned to Prabhupada's feet. As the temple president began to teach the morning class on the Srimad Bhagavatam, an honored scripture, he must have noticed that my attention remained fixed on Srila Prabhupada. "Jagannatha dasa prabhu!" I startled, which elicited not a few early morning chuckles as I recall. "He's back with us, no?" Over the next few weeks, I visited the temple frequently, but was living in a nearby Taoist ashram. My time was divided between the Hare Krsna mandir, this Taoist meditation center, nude sun bathing at Piedmont Park, preaching Jesus on the streets with the Fishers of Men, hanging out at the nearby First Existentialist Church of Atlanta, etc. To me, the spiritual path was one. If others didn't understand the amazing unity in diversity of the One God, that was their problem not mine! This period seemed to last forever. I was living in a state of near spiritual ecstasy. Life could scarcely have any better. But then the rumors began circulating. Something was seriously wrong within ISKCON! As I visited with various temple devotees and "fringies" I began to hear odd reports. Our respected god-brother Kirtanananda was being spoken of as if he were assuming leadership of the Movement. This was unthinkable! Srila Prabhupada had not appointed anyone as his successor! Srila Prabhupada clearly said that none of his disciples were qualified to take on disciples, let alone to lead the movement as diksa (initiating) guru. The more I spoke with the devotees however the more I began leaning toward the thought that of all the senior devotees, Kirtanananda might be the most suitable for the position. Those who thought this way, invariably pointed out that not only was he the most senior devotee (being Prabhupada's first Western convert), Kirtanananda even looked a lot like Prabhupada; he used a cane and had a similar gait. As most of us, he had become proficient at what I used to call Prabhupadese, the art of speaking with an assumed Bengali accent! Throughout the Movement kids with thick regional accents, like my own southern lilt, from places like the Bronx, France, England, Germany, from all over the world, began speaking with passable Bengali accents! To an outsider it must have seemed absolutely bazaar. I remember once in Atlanta for instance when Balavanta, the temple president, ran for mayor of the city. We all huddled around a television set to watch the debates. "...And you, sir," the reporter asked; "What do you consider to be the most serious problem facing the City of Atlanta today?" Now, at that time, there was massive racial unrest, debilitating poverty, horrible health care, some of the worst schools in the nation, the inner city was virtually infested with prostitutes, street drunks, gangs drug dealers... On and on the problems went, and yet our fearless leader looked directly into the camera and in a halting Bengali accent replied, "Well there is no question really. Problem number one is the death mills in South Atlanta. Every day thousands of innocent chickens are being brutally annihilated. This poultry holocaust must be stopped!" We screamed with delight, dancing in the dinning hall where the television had been brought in for the debate. As I recall it now, the reporter, the other candidates and all of Atlanta sat in stunned silence for a good two minutes. Chickens? Srila Prabhupada was still alive at that time. My recording of time has never been very good (I am trying to get this time line accurate). But it was not long after this that the news came from Vrndavana India. Our beloved father, guru, teacher, mentor and best friend had gone to be with Sri Krsna and Srimati Radharani… he had 'died'. Soon the rumors were spreading like wildfire. In Germany, Hamsadutta was claiming that he was Prabhupada's rightful successor. His followers were even calling him Prabhupada! In Los Angeles, Ramesvara made the same claim; he was the rightful head of the Movement. From around the world reports were coming in of devotees taking sides in violent guru struggles and turf wars! My already fractured faith in the Movement was now crumbling. The ISKCON temples were rife with controversies and allegations of all kinds. It was no longer so much of a spiritual place as it was now a Peyton Place (a place filled with hypocrisy and drama)! Who was to be the new acarya of ISKCON? I began hearing a new answer to this question: It was explained to me by the temple president in New Orleans that the eleven senior devotees Srila Prabhupada had appointed as his executors, as defenders of his directions, had produced a tape on which Srila Prabhupada, from his deathbed, had collectively appointed them all "zonal acaryas." According to this tape, the Eleven were to divide the planet into eleven zones, each ruled by one of them. While it had long been the practice since early on that these and other advanced devotees were empowered to conduct initiation rituals as Srila Prabhupada's representatives, they were doing so fully and solely upon Prabhupada's direction and under his authority. Candidates for initiations would approach their local authorities and request initiation, or their local elders would nominate them. If the local authorities agreed the person was ready, they sent a letter to Srila Prabhupada whose sole decision was required for all initiations. Srila Prabhupada traveled constantly setting up his Movement and its 108 temples. Upon his approval, the initiations were conducted. The initiate was initiated as Srila Prabhupada's disciple. Srila Prabhupada had said several times that none of his disciples were yet qualified to take his place at the helm of ISKCON. It was generally understood that because of this, after Prabhupada's passing, this system would remain in effect. In time, one of Srila Prabhupada's disciples, presumably but not necessarily one of the Eleven, would be recognized by the Movement as having all the qualities of an uttama adhikari or fully realized soul, and he would then become the acarya or head of ISKCON. Until that took place, would-be initiates would approach their local authorities as they always had, and if they were found worthy according to Prabhupada's books and oral teachings, they would be initiated as Prabhupada's disciples, much as Christians are the disciples of Lord Jesus, regardless of who 'leads them to the cross'. This was the system Srila Prabhupada set up for his Movement; it's known as a ritvik system. ISKCON would be a Ritvik institution until the appearance of the one who was worthy. This clear order was not observed however. Members of the Governing Body of ISKCON (the GBC) argued that while Hinduism at large does recognize ritvik systems, Gaudiya Vaishnavism never has. The Eleven wanted power and so they used their authority over the GBC to force the adoption of their unauthorized zonal system. The GBC, not wanting to institute an untraditional ritvik system, went along with the Eleven. It is worth nothing that upon the death of Srila Prabhupada's Gurudev, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta had authorized a structure similar to the zonal system proposed by the Eleven. That system led to the splintering of the Gaudiya Math into many sects. This was something Srila Prabhupada frequently and directly pointed to as a failure of his god brothers and determined such would not happen to ISKCON. An organization required one person to hold the post of acarya. This however is exactly the course adopted by the eleven and the GBC! For the devotees, Srila Prabhupada was the spiritual head of ISKCON, his word was law. If this tape were real, it had to be accepted and the Eleven would rightly be in control. If it was not real however then an unauthorized junta was trying to usurp Prabhupada's position and take over his Movement. I had to know. I went to the New Orleans temple president requesting to hear this tape. He explained that he had heard it, that it was authorized, but that it was not available for the devotees to hear! The most important tape in the Movement's history, the tape that ordered us to accept certain of our unqualified god-brothers as our spiritual authorities, and we were not allowed to hear it? Nonsense! Blasphemy! This is how most devotees felt and every day more and more of them left the Movement in disgust. Others began using their formidable collections skills to line their own pockets. Instead of collecting for the temples, they kept the monies they raised. Other devotees, including some of the Eleven, began smuggling businesses. As members of an international society the money making possibilities for the corrupt devotees were endless! They had brought in millions of dollars for Srila Prabhupada's Movement, now it was their turn! Rings of drug dealers and prostitution houses became almost common in the Movement. Child molestation, rapes, even murders were taking place. Very little was done to curb such abuses because the leaders, the GBC and the Eleven Gurus were themselves the biggest perpetrators of all! I traveled extensively for the next couple of years. During this time, I visited countless religious groups. I stayed in Catholic monasteries, Buddhist and Hindu ashrams, I slept under bridges... but through it all, my goal was to find someone somewhere who had a copy of this tape so I could hear it for myself. Time passed and I found myself once again in Culver City (L.A.), ISKCON's second international headquarters, traveling with one of their "educational parties" (the South Asian Cultural Exhibit). Like most of the ISKCON post-Prabhupada outreach programs, SACE mainly scammed the gullible public out of their money under false pretenses. By this time a new term had been coined: we were "Cheating the Cheaters of God." Since everything belongs to God, it was reasoned, and since people are generally selfish, not sharing the fruit of their labors with God, we were vindicated in cheating them and giving their wealth back to Krsna and his Movement where it belonged! I.e. to do with the money as we saw fit. After all, Krsna's servants need money too! As the various scandals and power plays escalated within ISKCON so too did a new threat, the so-called deprogrammers who kidnapping devotees, brainwashing them more surely than the Movement ever had. The public's attitude toward the Movement rapidly declined, to put it mildly and with just reason. Kirtanananda (by this point calling himself Bhaktipada) turned the West Virginia commune New Vrindavan, which was once the showplace of the Movement, into a den of thieves and a virtual battleground where dissenters, including a friend of mine, named Solocana dasa, were killed and countless children were sexually and mentally tortured. For Solocana dasa's experiences and death read "Monkey on a Stick. " It was not just there of course. Bogi-yogi Hamsadutta was driving around the city of Berkeley blowing the windows out of Cadillac dealerships and liquor stores with automatic weapons and maintaining his own little empire and harem in Berkeley's New Jagannatha Puri temple and at Mount Kailash in Mendocino County. Around the globe, the eleven bogi yogis and their yes-men were utterly destroying everything that Prabhupada had worked so hard to create. Finally, while traveling with the LA temple's South Asian Cultural Exhibits in Arizona, I finally heard the tape. One of the SACE devotees had bootlegged a copy from the Bhaktivedanta Book Trust (BBT). "This is it!" I exclaimed after hearing the tape. "What the hell kind of sick joke is this! No wonder they won't let the devotees hear it" But it was no joke. This desperate power-mad hoax all but destroyed the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON). Prabhupada's Movement was utterly betrayed by these ignorant and greedy men! Frankly, I am amazed that it continues to exist today even as a shadow of what it once was. The tape was the worst splice job I've ever heard. You'd hear Prabhupada's voice on some busy street: cars zipping by, horns honking. "Prabhupada," an obvious voiceover would ask: "What about Hrdayananda?" Next you'd hear a click as the tape reset; and then the sound of water flowing or a vina playing somewhere in the background. "He will do," Prabhupada would say with difference cadence. Then a canned sound like the devise was in a small-enclosed room somewhere, "...and Hamsadutta?" Now the sound of a temple room filled with chanting devotees, Prabhupada: "Huh, oh yes, him too..." On and on it went until all eleven of the usurpers had been "appointed." In disgust, I gave up on the Movement, as did most other Prabhupada disciples as the tape was leaked out. Today they still have not rectified the many problems and adopted the system Prabhupada desired. Instead, they have more "gurus" than anyone seems to be able to count! Next, I moved to Molokai and then to Maui, Hawaii. I lived with a Hawaiian group known as the Kahuna Kahulaui on Molokai and then in loose association with a group heterodox Christians known as the Brethren for a bit over a year. This would have been in early 1980. I returned to the Mainland and moved to Berkeley where I stayed at Mount Kailash for a few months during the decline of Hamsadutta's reign, then spent a few weeks in the Berkeley Temple after Mount Kailash was shut down and Hamsadutta was arrested for possession of a machine gun and other illegal weapons. Around 1982 I met and fell in love with the mother of son and, for most part, severed my ties with ISKCON. I have visited New Jagannatha Puri, New Vrndavana and other ISKCON temples since then, but only as a guest and out of curiosity. ISKCON has established what will be its norm now and even though this system is contrary to Srila Prabhupada's instructions, the Movement seems to have calmed down to the tedium of normal religious life. Santa Cruz is the US headquarters of the Caitanya Gaudiya Math, a Movement created by one of Srila Prabhupada's god-brothers following the collapse of the original Gaudiya Math. As ISKCON became more and more corrupt, several of Srila Prabhupada's devotees joined the Caitanya Gaudiya Math and other Gaudiya groups. The Caitanya Gaudiya Math today is led by Govinda Maharaja. Based upon my personal though admittedly limited experience with them, they are using many of the same dishonest fund raising methods as ISKCON. I've seen enough dishonesty for one lifetime, so I don't visit their temples either. One Gaudiya Vaisnava master who is doing it right, is His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Bibudha Bodhayan Maharaja, uttama adhikari, acarya and spiritual master of the Sri Gopinath Gaudiya Math. He is the most fortunate disciple of His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Goswami Maharaj. Doubtless, there are other Gaudiya masters and groups who are qualified and sincere as well, but if my opinion is asked, I refer people to the Sri Gopinath Gaudiya Math. I have received second initiation from Srila Bodhayan Maharaja and am honored to manage his official E-Group. As for the modern International Society for Krishna Consciousness, the vast majority of their current members are the disciples of the men who stole Prabhupada's Movement or of those who came after them. I know for a fact that at least several of these ISKCON gurus are sincere people who are trying to do their best. The fact remains however that from a Gaudiya point of view, they are all unqualified as ritvik acaryas. Unfortunately, most current ISKCON devotees don't seem to have a clue about what their teachers have done to Prabhupada's Movement nor what it was once like. Well over 90% of Prabhupada's followers have long since abandoned ISKCON. ISKCON finally admitted that the tape was a fraud and that the GBC-sponsored guru coup was not authorized by Srila Prabhupada. Other groups, like the ISKCON Revival Movement are doing admirable work at trying to restore Srila Prabhupada's Movement. As for the Eleven, some are now dead, killed by their own disciples, some are or have been in prison for their diverse scandals while others, like Hamsadutta, have left the Movement (last I heard he runs a trailer park in Northern California. I visited him a few years ago and saw that he maintains a tiny temple room on the site and that a few of his disciples still come to visit him from time to time). A good source of information on the activities of these bogi-yogis may be found at at this web site. The charges included here are clearly somewhat loaded, but the anger expressed is the result of the abuses wrought by the men. To my Vaisnava god-brothers in and out of ISKCON, I offer my respectful obeisances and hope that nothing in this piece will be deemed offensive. As far as I know, everything written here has been true. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
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