Welcome to John of AllFaith's MyStory
True Stories
That Changed My Life |
Part Two: The Seventies
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Greetings and Welcome to MyStory!
From 1969 to 1973 my life is largely a blur. I went to school, occasionally (I skipped a lot from the fifth grade on and hung out in the nearby woods). I had an older half sister and half brother but as I remember telling one of my teachers, Mr. Chetwyn (sp?), we were five people who lived in the same house, nothing more.
Throughout this period I was very unpopular, in part because of my spiritual beliefs and in part due to my natural pacifism. Fighting was second nature in the area but I refused to join in the violence. As a result I suffered serious abuse from the other kids in our neighborhood. This included being thrown from second floor windows, beatings, receiving the "royal flush" (where one's head is forced into a toilet bowl etc). My home life was not at all pleasant either. There was little to no love and lots of criticism.
My heart's desire through these years was to get as far away from the state of Georgia as I possibly could. I began to ponder my escape options.
Just to be clear on this point, my parents didn't physically abuse my (half) sister and I, they just ignored me for the most part and harangued and overworked her, giving preference in all things to our (half) brother. I always assumed it was because my brother was my mother's son and by showing him favoritism my father pleased my mother. Conversely, my sister was my father's daughter and my mother was reminded that she was not my father's first love. I was the child of them both and so was basically an irrelevant accident or, as my father often reminded me, "a broken rubber." I assume this is part of why I so adamantly oppose abortion. Had it been legal in 1957 I would not be writing these memories.
Frankly, what the school counselors regarded as my "attitude problems" probably didn't help matters much either! I could not accept the version of 'reality' I was getting from my family, church and school although for as long as I can remember I have felt God's love and presence in my life. There had to be more! I just knew it... But I knew of no alternatives, nothing better. I knew I didn't fit into that world and I begged God to show me a way out. And He did!
After the vision I was positive there was more to life! But... I didn't understand any of it...
Around 1973 I met an elderly man who initiated me (in 1975) into a spiritual discipline he called Welsh Traditionalism, a form of what is commonly referred to as WitchCrafte or Welsh Paganism. At various times over a period of three years, I visited him in his Ashford Park home, a mile or so from my parents house. I would share with him what I was learning or thinking and he would add his own unique insights and perspectives. He spoke of ancient gods, goddesses and dragons, fairies and restless haints (spirits).
In my mind's eye he took me to a time when being embraced by the air, dancing with the fire, listening to water and embracing the earth were simply part of daily/eternal life. He told me of Uther Pendragon and his Welsh knights, of Pwyl Penn Anwfyn and Lady Caerridwyn. During this period I also learned of my distant ancestor Cadifor Vawr (Cadifor the Great). It was a "coincidence" that we received a book on our family history from distant unknown Welsh relatives. My life was filled such coincidences! And Old Man Witty's teachings messaged my very soul and mind. As my ethnic roots are Welsh (and Cherokee) I drank it all in and wanted more, more! In his basement temple as we practiced the Ancient Ways skyclad (nude), I learned to accept the body the Lord and Lady of Light had granted for my use with freedom and joy and became a lifelong nudist. Mr. Witty told me that those who hid their bodies in shame also hid their souls and true nature. I wouldn't go quite that far, but most nudists I've known are open and wonderful people.
For "Old Man Witty" everything needed to be balanced because, "in balance there is freedom." But in my heart of hearts, I craved extremes! I longed to scale Snowdon's heights and swim naked into the arms of the Lady of Avalon, never again to return to the North Georgia foothills!
It took me many years to appreciate how truly wondrous the southeastern United States truly are. The Smoky Mountains rival any place on earth when it comes to natural beauty and God's handiwork. But my eyes were set to India, out west, to Wales... to anywhere besides North Georgia!
And so in 1974 I hitchhiked to Florida with another lost young soul and was arrested and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor (he for being a run-away). I was seventeen and three months older than he was! Daytona Beach was the traditional place of escape for runaway Georgians, or so it seemed to me at the time.
The charges were dropped after a couple of days and my friend's parents drove down and picked him up. While I was in Daytona Beach, I met a man who ran a place called Eden House (described as a "semi-Taoist ashram") and was invited to move in. I agreed to help in the house candle-making factory in exchange for room and board. Paul, the leader of the house, taught nightly classes in the Tao and Sabbat (a marshal art). I got fairly skilled at sabbat but my candle making skills left a bit to be desired! He also taught me the art of dahi (yogurt) making and I make good dahi if I do say so myself!
I hated school and saw no reason to learn anything. In that I was quite successful! I didn't learn my math skills, reading or writing. I recall asking my mother why I had to go school and she replied, "Because if you don't they will arrest your father for letting you be truant! You're going!" And so I endured it. When I had to.
As I couldn't really read to speak of, the other members of Eden House read to me from Tao Te Ching, the Chuang Tzu and other Taoist texts as well as the Mahayana Sutras like the Prajñaparamita sutras (the Heart Sutra, the Diamond Sutra and so on). I was an intellectual and cultural sponge! This Eastern wisdom moved me as I pondered the inexplicableness of life.
The evening I moved in, as I was walking up the steps to my room, I met her in the hallway as if she'd been waiting for me there. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. I recognized her at once, but hadn't realized how absolutely breath taking she was until then. I was reminded of Old Man's Witty's lustful descriptions of the Lady Day. I hadn't understood how the mere sight of another being could transport a person into a state of near ecstasy. Now I did! Her long blond hair flowed down her shoulders and back like golden rivers of light. An aura of love and peace exuded from her. Through her loose fitting nearly transparent, cloud-colored blouse, her firm breasts were visible and invited my touch, my caresses. It seemed as though she was "Melody" when she was feeling happy go-lucky, but Linda when she was practicing Tarot and other occult arts that she trained me in. In any case, Linda taught me a unique system of Tarot and related occult practices that were amazing. Over the years I did Tarot for many people and the wisdom of the Art still impresses me.
Although not my first partner, Melody also taught me the arts of physical love, of touch, of energy massage, and so much more. Her impact on my life was profound.
I returned to my parent's home, or moreover to the woods surrounding it, in early 1974. At that time, I learned that following the murder of her police officer husband, a friend's sister had become one of Jehovah's Christian Witnesses and several of us followed her into the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Although they deny it now, we were directly taught by the elders of our Kingdom Halls and through the indications of the Watchtower Magazines if not direct statements, that 'this Evil System of Things' was going to end in 1975 with the War of Armageddon. For my part, I 'knew' from my vision that things in the world were not as they appeared, and so I bought it all hook, line and sinker.
Countless devout Witnesses put off needed operations, sold their homes, quit their jobs... we were all positive that the people at Bethel, the J.W. headquarters, were true prophets of God who alone could reveal the mind of Jehovah God. I spent the next year knocking on doors as a "Pioneer" (100 hours a month) and warning people that the end had arrived.
On the positive side, to be "one of Jehovah's Christian Witness" one needs to be able to read the Bible, books and magazines of the Watchtower Society. I had more or less made it through the ninth grade before dropping out completely to devote myself to seeking God. As odd as it now seems to me, at the time I didn't understand that being able to read might be helpful in this pursuit! I could read basic sentences, v e r y s l o w l y, but I had never read a book and was certainly functionally illiterate. And so through the Witnesses, I learned to read. Later on, I taught myself the rules of grammar etc. and eventually earned an MA degree (in Religious Studies), an Interfaith Counseling degree, three Christian ordinations, studied much of the Vedas and other writings... But thank God some merciful computer nerd invented spell checkers! hehe!
I longed to share the things I had learned from Melody/Linda with Mr. Witty. If anyone would appreciate them, I knew it would be him! I also knew that he didn't approve of the Witnesses (or any other Christian sects), and so I mainly stayed away during this period. In early 1976 however, when my faith in the Watchtower's 1975 prophecies began to wane, I visited Old Man Witty. I spent two weeks with him and during this time he formally initiated me as Welsh Traditionalist priest and explained that our time together had come to an end. He left me with many words of wisdom. For instance I asked, "How can I tell if a Witch is real?" He replied, "Witches are Wise Ones, Wise Ones always live in the now, even as they learn from the past." I didn't understand what he meant at the time but I do now. When I went to visit him a few months later he had moved away with no forwarding address. Another lesson learned.
Old man Witty was my second teacher. Melody/Linda was my third.
Also in 1975 I was introduced to Gaudiya Vaishnavism (a branch of Bengali Vaisnava Hinduism). I had been riding my bike on the outskirts of Atlanta when I took shelter from a rain shower under a freeway overpass. Out of the haze stepped the woman who introduced me to my first teacher (shown to the right). The movement he introduced to the western world and the spiritual precepts he taught had a major influence on my life and personal beliefs, especially the teaching known as acintya bheda bheda tatva (simply stated, the understanding that God and all existence can be both 'this' and 'not this': or, the inconceivable oneness and difference doctrine). After Srila Prabhupada left the planet in 1978, this organization's betrayal of its founder jaded me in some ways (for information on this click here). Nearly 90% of Srila Prabhupada's disciples left ISKCON after the betrayal. I was one of those who left. For me ISKCON was a bitter/sweet experience. Modern day ISKCON is a very different sect than the one founded by His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Today there are several different Vaisnava sects and gurus active in the West. Some of these gurus are legitimate in my opinion, many are not. Among those who are genuine, enlightened masters is His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Bibudha Bodhayan Maharaja, acarya and spiritual master of the Sri Gopinath Gaudiya Math. He is the successor of His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Pramode Puri Goswami Maharaj, who was Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami's senior godbrother. I am honored to be one of Bodhayan Maharaja's initiated disciples, although frankly my spiritual path is quite eclectic and I am not a good example of the Swami's enlightened teachings.
In the Spring of 1976 when the Watchtower Society announced falsely that they had never made this unfulfilled 1975 prophecy, like so many others, I left the Witnesses. 1976 was the first year in their history that their membership declined. Debates over the 1975 prophecy remain a sore spot for the Watchtower Society, which continues to deny that it ever taught this. They did as many of us know quit well.
Through the Witnesses, ISKCON and certain other experiences I came to understand that claims to religious piety do not insure honesty and truth. This realization empowered me to learn from the diverse Paths without buying into to their claims of superiority. This was a tough lesson to learn however it reinforced my certainty that only the Ek Devata, the One God is God. I desired to know that Being as fully as possible and continued to seek.
As I recount elsewhere, in 1976 while working at a Hess gas station in Tucker GA. I met a Baptist woman who told me about a group of people at her church known as the Fishers of Men. This was a Christian street Ministry in Atlanta, Georgia that also did missionary work in Central America and elsewhere. The local Witnesses discovered I had been attending meetings at Rehobeth Baptist Church in Tucker and disfellowshipped me "for conduct unbecoming a Christian!" I thought that was a great irony, going to a Christian church being condemned as un-Christian conduct.
As I had become fairly well known regionally the area Kingdom Halls announced my "spiritual death" and my Witness friends all cut me off, as though merely speaking to me would be an act of speaking with the dead. A couple of months after my disfellowshipment I happened to see one of my best Witness friends and his Witness mother at an area store. Without thinking I approached them and said hi. They walked away and I realized what had happened. I followed them and said, rather loudly, "H E L L O!" My friend's mother turned, pointed and proclaimed, "Get thee behind me Satan! You are dead!" The other shoppers seemed intrigued but I merely walked away.
What a short strange trip its been!
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