My twelfth year was the most significant one of my life bar none.
Had the key events in my life that occurred in 1969 not happened, or had I dealt with them differently, my life today would be utterly different. The events of this day in particular, combined with the other experiences of that year, forever set the course my life would take and, for better or worse, made me the person I am today. What follows is a true account to the best of my recollection.
Its been forty years this month (June, 2009) since I had this vision and its memories live on in my consciousness and in my life. For this reason I thought it might be good to share this experience with those who might have some interest or simply to recall these events for myself.
I present a much more detailed version of this experience elsewhere so here I'll focus on the vision itself without the events that led up to it and most of the commentary.
But some introduction is required:
A couple of months prior to this experience I had walked down to the altar of Harrell Grove Missionary Baptist Church and gave my heart and life to God. I hadn't done this lightly and I believed, not without good reason, that only God cared for or about me. He was my only friend, my only companion. I offered my life and promised to follow wherever He might lead. Although I have at times stumbled, I have tried to keep this vow.
I was a functionally illiterate Southern kid living in North Georgia. Many kids feel they don't fit in but in my case it was a fact! God only knows why I was planted there but it was not a good fit from the beginning! I did not belong in that world.
Like most people I knew my family was religious but not fanatical, we had a few skeletons in our closet but no more than most. And life was something to be survived. I was tall for my age, and very skinny, "lanky" I think was the preferred term in those days, and I was quite lost before finding God.
About the only thing different about me than the other lost souls I knew was the fact that I was hated, absolutely despised, by most everyone I knew and even some I didn't! I was frequently chased and, when they could catch me, beaten. I was thrown from second and third floor windows at school, I was pelted with stones, burned with cigarettes, given more "royal flushes' than I can count... And the general response from home and school officials was tha
t it was doubtless my own fault.
Why didn't I fight back? I was one of the biggest and strongest kids around but I could not bear the thought that I might hurt someone else. So I ran when I could and accepted the beatings and other abuses when I had to. This situation continued to varying degrees from the first grade to tenth when I quit school and left home for good (after a few false starts). As soon as I was old enough to figure out how to do it, I ran away from home, traveled much of the U.S and the world, and didn't look back for many years. Since then I've practiced most major religions and countless minor ones, studied philosophy and spent much time in meditation and prayer. I've earned and received initiations and ordinations from several different religions, an MA in Religious Studies and sought to grow in my understandings of and relationship with the One God.
Today I live in Northern California and those days seem like a different lifetime. Still however what happened this June day in 1969 still haunts me, inspires me, and when I need it, encourages me to stay the course as I behold the Dawning of what I was shown in this vision.
With this brief introduction out of the way:
It Began...
I had tried to go school that day, but as I was locking my bike to the bike rail I was forced to flee into the woods to escape another beating by a band of kids instead. There I entered the privacy and safety of a "fort" I had cut out from under a massive tree on the banks of a tiny stream.
I sat down on the pine needle strewn ground beside the creek and removed my shoes to soak my tired feet in its cold water. Now safe, my eyes filled with warm, salty tears that ran down my face like rain.
Like most Southern kids of the day I hated shoes (the schools required we wear them but otherwise I was always barefooted and wore only cut-off shorts or nothing at all when I had the choice). My feet were so callused I could walk on the hot Georgia pavement on most Summer days and barely wince at all. When the world hates you find pride wherever you can!
The ongoing persecution or perhaps more the fear of not knowing why these things kept happening to me, suddenly filled me with inconsolable grief and I wept. However from somewhere deep within came a reminder of something Preacher Thomas had told me at church the night I was "saved" at the altar. He said, "Even if everyone on earth hates you, never forget that God loves you."
God loves me!
What a great thing to know! That conviction has sustained me through countless hardships and uncertainties! This is one reason why although I am generally an open and tolerant person, I become outraged when I hear people, especially religious people, telling others that God rejects them! NO! If God loves me -- and He does -- then God loves YOU as well no matter who you are! Certainly telling another person that God hates or condemns them is among the most heinous of all sins!
What I knew, what I absolutely realized at that moment without any doubt or reservation was that God loves me! In spite of myself! But I also knew with the same certainty that no one else on the planet did! I knew that there was not a single person on the planet who cared if I lived or died, although there were a few who I figured would be happier were the latter the case.
Being resigned to that certainty I turned my tear-laden eyes toward the sky and began to beg God to "take me Home" to heaven. I no longer wanted to live on this loveless planet. I wasn't sure what Heaven was like but I knew my only friend and confident was there and I desperately wanted to be with Him. Life was just too painful to bear any longer. I wanted out!
During the next several hours time became irrelevant; it lost all solidity for me. I was no longer aware of its passing nor did I even think about it. Therefore I don't know how long I laid there crying out to God to free me from this life, but looking back now it seems like this day lasted an eternity!
Soaking my feet in the cold waters, they became numb and I remember pulling them out at one point and tucking them under me for warmth. That's about the only memory of physical reality I have of this entire experience.
What happened next is difficult to describe. It didn't so much "happen" as... I don't know... transpired ... if that makes any sense. The following events passed through my awareness like mists on a serene reflective lake leaving no ripple in their wake.
This was one of the most "real" events I have ever experienced in my life and as I try and share what happened with you I know before writing the first word that I will fail in the attempt, but I'll try just the same. I will add that these things happened due to God's love not because there is anything special about me.
He Comes:
Laying there on my back and gazing up beyond the ancient trees towards the heavens I saw in the distance a bright silver light like a shining ball of rounded polished crystal. At first I toyed with the effect, shifting the shading of its reflections with my tears -- a game that gave some peace to my sobbing heart -- and I watched as it moved slowly closer.
As the object approached its light grew gradually brighter and stronger. I must have realized at some point that it was not an optical illusion, a trick of the light, and yet I was at peace as there seemed to be a "knowing" on me that assured me that everything was as it was meant to be. As the object slowly approached it became ever so gently "lighter" and began to take on human form.
My sorrow was washed away in a joy I had never before known and tears of jubilation replaced those of mourning. I watched this appearing with an oddly detached reaction. I knew the situation was perfectly right and good (which is one reason I know it was of God, some have questioned this). I knew that God loved me and I knew His Presence and his Love: but never like this! And I knew He had heard my prayers and was sending someone to take me Home! I was in a rapturous joy such as I had never before known. I was going Home!
I think I had some concern, before he came for me, that going Home might be considered selfish or cowardly but as the figure materialized my heart was filled with such stunning joy that I realized I didn't care what anyone else might think! At last I was going Home and nothing else could possibly matter!
As the figure 'solidified' and stood before me I sat up, wiped the tears from my eyes and looked expectantly at him. In church we had been told how Jesus ascended into Heaven "in a cloud." There was a painting of it but the idea had always been hard to fathom for me. How could that happen? But as I saw how light, how ethereal he was I began to understand. He was completely physical but that in no way limited him! I suddenly realized that this wasn't an angel, it was Jesus himself! How honored I felt that he had personally come to take me Home.
The figure standing before me looked like I had expected Jesus to look when at long last I would meet him in Heaven. At Harrell Grove there was a copy of the famous painting of Jesus praying in Gethsemane -- this was the Jesus standing before me. I don't recall his exact words but I remember what he said. 
The Master looked at me with such love and yet there was also a sternness I had not expected. "You want to go Home?" He asked me. His voice was so soft, so tender and yet there was a power in it that made me want to bow in awe.
I glanced at him, averted my eyes and nodded, wiping my eyes. I knew I was so ready to go! But I could not speak.
He understood.
"If you want to come Home now I will take you with me. But first I will show you things to come; there is much service to be done"
Again, I'm paraphrasing.
The Master explained, or I somehow perceived from him, that the earth was entering into a very important period when something was going to happen that had never happened before.
In that instant I understood this transition had recently begun but that its effects were generally unseen as yet and I sensed that my service would include watching, being a witness to these effects as they would unfold in the future. What they were I was not then certain.
Preacher Thomas had warned us however, in general terms, that God's wrath would one day fall on our nation and the world, but being a kid my concerns were more selfish and immediate. I had more than enough problems of my own to worry about! Why was I being told these things? And yet I remembered my promise to follow God wherever He might lead and He was leading me now. So I understood and accepted that the Holy Vengeance that would one day be poured out upon the world might now be near at hand.
So I glanced at the Master and he knew my question.
Things to Come:
My eyes filled tears, the hairs on my body stood erect and I began to tremble as my physical vision darkened and seemed to contract for a time and to pulsate. But then the light gradually returned along with my normal peripheral range and my sight continued to expand outward until I could see everything as never before. Except now there was a blue tint to the world, a soothing overlay of sorts and before me I saw a vast field where flowers bloomed and wheat grew and rows and furrows that seemingly went on forever in the distance. In the fields I saw children running and playing and laughing. There were cows with their calves and farmers with wagons and houses with smoke rising from their chimneys and a woman who looked like my Aunt Bobby nursing a baby and the sky was the bluest of blues and the air was warm and clear and I was thrilled with glory of all life...
... And I knew I must be seeing Heaven and that I would be there soon! I had only to take a few steps into the blue to join that rapturous scene... And my heart leaped in my chest with joy unspeakable...
And the Master said, "No this is not Heaven this is the earth."
And suddenly my vision darkened, the woods returned and a sound arose, am unnerving tone. I was afraid, nauseated by it.
I looked at the ground because I was afraid and thought, Will even he tease me? Never was the earth so wondrous!
But he smiled and I felt embraced and secure. "This is the great service."
Then suddenly I understood. Not the details but the flow. And I thought, "but Jesus, I can't do anything!"
And he replied, "God can."
He then revealed that there would be seven teachers coming into my life and that once they had come I would be a fit vessel for God's service. Each of these would teach me an important lesson he explained but the cumulative effect was what would prepare me.
Now, my experiences with teachers in the past had been mainly negative yet I nodded my understanding.
As I nodded my consent to behold what he would show next, I understood that it was an important decision, perhaps the most important one I would ever make.
I then looked fully into his face for the first time since he had appeared. He looked young and vibrant with strong Semitic features (although I didn't recognize this at the time) and yet there was an ancientness, a timelessness, about him... and a deep consuming sadness that unnerved me by its familiarity. It occurred to me that he also knew sadness, rejection, betrayal, and I loved him all the more and comprehended why it was that he understood me and loved me even as I loved him. He was not who people thought he was, he was... more than that...
And then as I looked into his face, Jesus -- how shall I describe this -- 'fizzled away...' That's not really accurate but at the time and in my earliest notes on this that's the word I used to described his... transfiguration.
His body appeared to be completely physical but there was nonetheless an ephemeral quality to it. That translucent quality began to predominate and then, like one vapor folding into another from the inside out he was changed, he was altered. It was as though he and the one I now beheld were one being and yet they were not. I somehow knew they were not. Only the space was being shared, not the essence.
It's difficult to explain. In this day of movie special effects I guess you might say he "morphed" into a different character, however in 1969 such technology had yet to be invented and I'd never seen such a thing as I saw next.
My Seven Primary Teachers
Standing before me where Jesus had stood only a moment before, was an elderly East Indian gentleman. His weathered face looked serene yet stern and his eyes were inquisitive. There was about him a great authority and personal charisma and yet he was at the same time so completely detached from his surroundings that I sensed he was actually in Heaven rather than on the earth where he seemed to be. He was with God. Where I yearned to be! Yet we were here and we were with God! Here. Because there is no place where God is not! I realized this for the first time as I gazed on this, my first of seven Masters (Jesus being my 'overmaster' one might say). And I somehow knew that his only concern, his only desire was oneness with God and I wanted the same. And yet I also knew that his understanding of Who God is was so completely beyond my conception that I could not then even begin to conceive.
How long I beheld this Master I can not say but another elderly man stood before me. He appeared to be in better health I noted mentally and of a very different disposition. This man appeared to be as old as the last but seemed agile, spry and given to dance. He exuded a spirit of sensuality, of play. He had a glint in his eye that seemed to beckon me to join him and I felt drawn to do just that.
But soon (in meaningless time) he was gone and before me was a most beautiful young woman wearing a nearly transparent yet flowing powder green gown. She was perhaps in her late teens or early twenties. Older than me but certain not old. In her right she held what appeared to be a playing card but I could not see which one. Her difference from the two men who had proceeded her made my senses reel and my young passions stir. To my eyes she was a veritable goddess of desire! I could not avert my eyes from her and her smile assured me that my interests were known and welcomed by her. I longed to be with her.
As she "morphed away" there came an Asian man, also somewhat elderly although he appeared to be a bit younger that the other two. He was strong and mysterious.
Then another Indian Swami was there. Whereas the first had been bald, clean-shaved and dressed in fine yellow (saffron) robes, this Master had a long full beard, long stringy dark hair with gray highlights and he was naked. He appeared to be older than the others and I sensed he had forgotten to age or found it too tiring to bother with or he else would have appeared older still. Like the first he carried a personal dignity, yet one born of humility rather than training and there was about him the spirit of the prankster. I immediately like this man and sensed we had already met somehow but I knew that could not be.
Next came a man who at the time looked sort of like a hippie to me. that's how I first described him. His cloths were rugged, colorless and unkempt, not the sort worn by Americans nor yet like the robes I had seen on others. His skin was reddish, somewhat ruddy and tanned and his gaze was strong and pointed. That's what held my attention. He was intimidating and having realized I had seen him, he very quickly 'left'.
Finally there appeared another man wearing a dark suit who looked incongruous in his normalcy. He could have been anyone. As I recall his appearance I suspect that was the point. His appearance was ordinary while all the others had been very notable in their uniqueness.
As the "message" from the seventh teacher was completed Jesus returned in the same shimmering way he had left. In his demeanor was a question, did I wish to continue?
I looked into his face again, then averted my eyes ashamed. I knew that even with these instructors I was wholly unworthy to serve but there was no way I would refuse.
He smiled and I felt the warmth of it and I thought, What's gonna happen? What am I supposed to do?
What happened next is more difficult to describe than the Seven Teachers. I should probably mention that thus far, today is June 12, 2009 as I write this, I have met six of these teachers and the descriptions I received in this vision were spot-on. I await my Seventh Master.
Next a series of events and images passed through my consciousness (rather than passing before my eyes). I "saw" the Masters and "received" some instruction or word from each, but this information was more a knowing than a seeing. Its difficult to describe.
Some things I was not shown
I "perceived" several individuals who I would later met. Among these was my now ex-wife. When I met her at the Berkeley Free Clinic (she was a peer counselor and I managed fund raising and volunteered on the Switchboard) we recognized one another instantly.
Which leads me to certain things I was not shown.
In my 1969 vision I often saw myself in great pain and sorrow and I accepted that as part of my service. I beheld my death -- which I will touch upon below -- and that too I fully accepted then and now, although I would dearly have loved to survive through these events and enter the Theocratic Kingdom. But despite the many completely accurate things, events and people I did see (both positive and negative), there were significant things I was not shown. Things that at that time might well have made me decline the service and go Home then (what a personal tragedy that would have been!).
For instance: While in the vision I witnessed the birth of my first son (and knew he would be named Garrett Jonathon) and watched portions of his life as he grew into manhood, I did not see his being murdered in 1984. Nor did I see myself (along with many others) being poisoned by the government spraying that occurred over the San Francisco Bay Area in 1988/89 that caused such tremendous suffering and still does for many thousands of us. I did not see myself spending nearly three years in bed suffering horribly from insomnia, hypersomnia, severe muscle spasms and contractions that left me doubled over in agony for hours at a time. Nor did I see the roving diverse pains where often there was nothing to hurt (no muscle groups etc), the major memory disturbances, having my lungs collapse on several occasions and being rushed to emergency rooms as I suffocated. I did not foresee going blind a few times and not knowing whether or not my sight would ever return, nor being unable to walk more than a few steps, going from 175 pounds of muscle to 300 pounds of bloated fat in less than a year; having "dots" and "lines" appear on my now overly sensitive skin burning and popping painfully and without warning. I did not anticipate the light sensitivity that for a while was so intense I could not even bear light bulbs above 40 watts let alone the Sun that I had always so adored.... I was not shown these and the other symptoms that were to be my lot as a result of the experimental government spraying that caused my Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFIDS/FMS). I likewise did not see my wife leaving me due to the illness, not wishing to live with a disabled person, nor did I anticipate being separated from my surviving son because of it, nor did I expect the seizure disorder he suffered for a few years....
Some things I was not shown
Hind sight is 20/20 as they say and now I understand why I did not witness these events. Those years were so harsh that had I been shown them in my vision I would surely have elected to go Home then. We learn as we go along and I have come to understand that these were spiritual attacks of the enemy and part of my reasonable service. They were not God's Will but they were part of His allowance. Through my experiences I have grown.
More importantly perhaps I learned something about prophecy and the nature of reality. Some things we can control and prevent but others are destined to occur. In such cases the details are often in flux and resistance, even in the face of assured defeat, is still better than surrender. If one can not defeat the enemy then seek to hinder his advance!
And even in the midst of the struggles and pain God sometimes grants blessings like He did by bringing Andrea and I together and giving me a wonderful step-son.
I have learned to Stand through my experiences and the very Gates of Hell will not cause me to back down nor shirk my service to the One God now that the enemy is at the gate.
... But some things I was...
Some things I was not shown, but some things I was. Many of the things I was shown would only be of interest to me so I will forgo mentioning them (people so often say my posts are too long as it is) but I will now share some of the things I witnessed that may be of interest.
I saw myself being initiated into many different religions and lodges and I understood that I would only maintain association with one of these as the years advanced (and it is not one which a person "joins"). This has been the case. I do not subscribe to any established religious or spiritual tradition. I accept what God has shown me. I call my views AllFaith Spirituality but that's only another label.
I saw myself in Florida training and initiating a certain man into the service of God and later beheld a snowy deserted mountain road where he would leave me in zero degree weather in the dead of night and drive away. There I would be forced to struggle with demons to survive. Both occurred. And I was shown that we would reconnect prior to the dawning of the Dark Days, and after twenty some odd years we did a couple of years ago. What is yet future for us is yet future however the Hinderers have been more successful than frankly I expected and so as the Master said, "many are called, few are chosen."
I beheld tidal waves of human and animal blood washing through the streets of North American cities and a voice cried out that America is no more.
I saw hundreds or thousands of people crucified and left to die in city after city and I asked who had done this and was told, "They did it to themselves." I asked how and why and was told, "Some for the love of God and others for the lack of God's love."
I saw a huge explosion in Southern California (a nuke) and I watched as wounded people like zombies emerged from the smoke and debris and with shuffling steps made their way north.
I heard the call to Azaan (Muslim prayers) echoing throughout the world and I saw sows that had been gutted from the rear and people were being shoved inside them and sewed up and left in the fierce heat of the sun. I move to one of them and heard a woman crying and I wanted to rip open the hog and release her but a man with a rifle approached and said, "We do not touch pork! Die in silence!
I then looked up and beheld lights flashing across the sky like lightning. Mud began raining down onto the earth. I stared into the sky seeking to understand where the mud had come from, but I was covered by it and had to seek refuge lest I drown so thick was the mud on the earth.
I saw the earth quake violently and Washington DC was washed away into the rising ocean while a shout of triumph arose in celebration around the earth.
I saw bright red beasts like centaurs with fangs galloping across the earth and their hoofs shook the land and their laughter deafened the ears. In their left hands they carried long, curved swords and with these they would chop off people's heads randomly and the blood of their victims made a foul odor.
I heard the gurgling sounds of feeding infants and turned and saw many of them laying in the dirt sucking on slime coated bottles. Blood splattered out from the nipples in their mouths and ran down onto their pale skin and the blood burned them and many had blisters from the blood.
I turned away and cried and ran for I could do nothing to help them and I climbed a steep hill to escape. From the top I looked down into a deep valley like a crater. As I approached it I saw that it was filled with dead babies like a cooling volcano crusted with lava. Some of the babies were whole and others were so torn asunder that only diverse parts were recognizable: arms, legs, heads (and the heads were especially desirable!)... Demons scampered along among the corpses and they gathered the body parts, often ripping them apart with gleeful laughter. They sucked at heads and made a sickening sucking sound. Some parts they ate and others they stuffed into large white bags that seemed to have no limits to how much they hold and the bags never became dirty or stained. And then the scene changed and there were walls and ceilings and I heard classical music. I saw entire families and couples in lust sitting at table in fancy restaurants. Well dressed waiters carried huge crystal covered silver trays with one hand. When the lids of these were opened for the pleasure of the diners they served the dead babies to the well dressed people. I heard the diners comment on how much fresher these babies are than the older children. "As tender as choicest veal." And the pleased diners paid their compliments to the chef who sipped a glass of human blood and nodded his thanks.
And I saw women, thousands of women, millions... dancing in the streets of a big city nearly frenzied in their excitement. Some were topless, others wore business suits or jeans and shirts or dresses and I approached one of the women who had hair like a lions mane and asked what the celebration was about. She looked at me and replied, "The courts have ruled we can kill our children and devour their flesh!" and I screamed and ran away in disgust. The revelers pointed and laughed at the sight.
[This demonic court decision happened in 1973 of course, Four years after my vision. I had never heard nor contemplated the possibility of such a thing happening at that point.]
And then from above I saw a giant star crashing down in the middle of the US and a wave of black sound came from it and caused even the coastal towns of both coasts to sway and rock and I heard a loud voice that proclaimed, "God has abandoned this land!" and I knew that was righteous and deserved but I fell to my face and cried, "Will He abandon me as well?" because He was my only hope. Then was granted a knowing that God would never abandon those who seek Him. I gave thanks and determined to continue my quest.
And a Dark Cloud covered North America [this happened in 1973] and it remains in place to this day. Many have seen, perceived and spoken of this Dark Cloud. From the Dark Cloud issues demons and evil 'pulses' and influences that drive the people and destroys their minds. And the people desire these demons and their pulse more and more with each passing day. I then understood that God had not abandoned the US, the US would abandon God.
Righteous and true was and shall be His judgments on the United States and on the people of the earth.
And there was a roaring sound from deep under the earth, a rupture that should not have been but was. One of the Great Lakes (at least) caught fire and the steam was noxious and many who breathed it died. Firemen tried to put out the fire but they only made it worse and the fire belched forth dark maroon lava and something green and vile. I watched as Chicago burned to the ground and massive fields of food burned throughout the Midwest. Most of those who survived the fire and the air yet starved and their skin was green from the air. Some of those who salvaged and ate the foods from these fields found the food was not filling. The more they ate the more they craved and with full and bloated bellies many fell dead to the earth for want of sustenance. And some drank water from other lakes and streams but the water was poison. They held their stomachs in agony and they cried and screamed and cursed God whom they blamed. But God did not bring forth this plague. It was man who altered nature not nature's God. And then an Angel said this is wormwood the rest will not die. But a man who was listening ran to the angel and sought to grab him but fell before him instead. With tears he begged, "Please let us die!" but the angel said, "That time is not yet ripe."
And the sound arose of machines and wheels and gears and a great army in trucks and tanks and jeeps, on foot and on horseback and helicopters and jets. These made their way across America from lands to the West where dwelt the Beast. These had but one question to ask and everywhere they asked that question. Then I knew great fear. And after the answers were given the armies gave the people bottles: some red, some blue, some green. And the people who drank from the red bottles died agonizing deaths in moments while those who drank from the blue bottles died slower and with less pain and this they deemed to a kindness.
I asked a soldier what the question was and what was the correct response. He said, "if you know the question you must answer it!" And I asked him, "What is the answer" and he replied, "There isn't one!"
And then I understood that all hope was gone and that no answer would suffice. I screamed into the heavens for justice but the heavens were silent for a half hour and I sat on the ground and wept.
And when the half hour was complete I arose and began to run as fast my feet could go. As I ran I screamed and I ran as fast as I could and I wouldn't stop lest the question be asked of me or lest I hear it asked of another.
And then in France I saw the Statue of Liberty and then I knew I was not seeing correctly because its in New York. Surely these things can not be. But a man told me no, that the statue in New York is the duplicate, this is the real one. He spoke in French but I knew what he said and it was then that I knew the Tower had fallen at last. I then knew the card held in Linda's hand, my Master my Love. And so I wept bitter tears because I not understood that card before!
The crown of the statue began to glow green and a green mist with a familiar odor -- that turned my stomach -- and a green heat began spreading out from the statue. It covering the land and people began to die. Just then a man appeared and he raised his hands and said, "No! this place is under my protection."
I asked a woman who was carrying a wicker basket with something warm inside who the man was and she said, "He is the man who wrote the question." I looked at her basket and saw that it was death, cold death that only pretended to bring warmth.
I turned and ran and as I did I ran across all of Europe. Everywhere I saw that the people were made of wood. None of them were flesh and blood. They looked like misshapen wooden carvings and together they marched in unison, first one way, then another. They left splinters behind them on the ground and those splinters were sharp and could cut and maim and kill. These wooden people cared not where they marched, be it to the east or the west, only that they marched.
Suddenly there was a military group of soldiers made of flesh, but the flesh slipped from their bones and had to be adjusted from time to time lest it trip them and cause them to fall. I knew they had been spotted me so I joined a line of wooden marchers and mimicked their movements. Together we continued march because marching is what one does. We marched until I was exhausted and could march no more. I asked one of them when we got to sleep.
Suddenly everything went very quiet. The one I had asked turned his head towards me very slowly. Gradually his mouth opened and it emitted a loud, piercing tone that hurt my ears and caused my eyes to water.
"Quiet!" I urged but the noise grew louder and louder and I ran but something hit me hard in the back of the head. My body flew forward seemingly for miles before landing on the ground. I was surrounded by wooden people. They reached out their splinters to poke me with them and I struggled to keep them at bay.
I could not understand their speech but then I 'saw' the Tower card in Linda's hand. I concentrated on that. Holding the image in mind I began to understand their garbled words: Er ist ein Jude! And I tried to keep them away by shouting, "Nein, ich bin mir nicht!"
[In the vision these snippets were in German, a language I did not understand and yet I understood them. I am included them in German here for the sake of realism.]
Then something happened and...
And all of existence was dark and cold and smelled of mold. I was alone but somehow with several others I could not see. I pondered the words: Er ist ein Jude! But I didn't know what they meant. I thought the words were important. There was a question, I recalled... but I failed to find the connection and I could not recall what it had been.
And then I heard a feint voice in the darkness. I tried to listen, to understand, but he spoke in a language I could not make out but it was surely something of importance so I strained to hear and wished I had taken Linda's Tower card with me when we parted. The voice asked in a pleading tone, "Kennen Sie die Antwort?" I repeated it over and over in my mind but did not understand.
And then Jesus said: "Before." And there was noise and a shaking.
"Before?" I asked, but he did not reply. Before what?
I waited for a reply and when none came I shouted out loudly, "Before What!" only it came out, "Vor was?" and one voice bid me be quiet while another whispered, "Kennen Sie die Antwort?" I knew the answer to the question, but I was grieved because I understood not only that it didn't matter, but why it didn't matter. As I considered my reply another voice said, "Before this." But to which one of us he spoke I wasn't sure.
I knew the answer and I knew it didn't matter before and wouldn't matter now. I listened to the dogs in the distance. There were vicious. Then the man asked again, "Kennen Sie die Antwort?" ("Do you know the answer?"). And I replied truly: "Wir sind alle Juden! Suchen Sie Gott!" ('We're all Jews my friend, seek God!). There was no other hope.
But the man refused to hear me and he replied, "How should you know the answer?"
And the other man said something obscene and then Jesus said, "Before."
And I smelled something unpleasant. I wondered what it was. It was familiar, unpleasant but familiar and it grew stronger. A wind had come up that cut like a knife and it was too cold to worry about smells and questions and answers and too dark to see so I covered my head under my torn jacket and some old newspapers and tried to sleep. Someone elbowed me in the ribs and I rolled over and repositioned my shivering body.
And then a loud, demanding 'rata tat tat' and a man was going down the rickety stairs, almost falling in the poor light. The dogs I had been listening to before were now just below us. They were whining and barking, demanding to be fed. Just then there was an explosion and the man's brains splattered onto the walls as the dogs went insane and howled and barked and tried to get to the blood to lap it up.
But then it was unbearably hot. I was falling face first, falling into a ditch, and I couldn't stop...
And then I looked up and Jesus standing there, his arms outstretched. He said, "And again."
But as I gazed into his face I knew there was still a question left unanswered. It was something I should know... still was not right. I had forgotten something critical....
And Jesus said, "And still" and I sobbed without comprehension.
[As a few of you may recognize from my other writings, this experience, from the smell of urine to the falling into the ditch is part of my lifelong recurring dream that I had for the first time a couple of months after this vision. The two are obviously connected. In my previous life I was a Jew and died by mass execution, my body falling into a ditch with that same question. What had I forgotten.]
As Jesus released me I became nauseous and was soon in a gray and dismal city. I knew it was in Europe, Germany probably. I was preaching against the Beast on a street corner. [this is yet future]
But suddenly I was in downtown Atlanta and I was standing in Central City Park preaching [this I did during the late seventies, a few years after the vision].
Then I was carrying something heavy and walking and walking and walking and some people listened while other jeered. [I didn't know what I was carrying in the vision. But it was a 12x6 foot wooden cross which I carried from Atlanta GA to San Antonio Texas and in various other places].
And then dogs were attacked me and I tried to fight them off [I'm not sure of the timing of this].
Next I was back in Europe in the gray city and had just finished preaching and was preparing to move on. Down the road I heard another preacher and I knew he was the man I would meet [did meet] in Florida so I went toward his voice and soon we were walking through the city together. Many of the people were afraid and hiding but others brought us food. At one point I said to one such person, "We don't need your food, you should eat it," but my friend said, "They need us to eat it," and so we ate.
And then I saw the earth and it was covered with what looked like armies of ants but as I focused, I realized these were people who, like us, were warning others not to listen to the Beast. "He makes a certain sound and if that sound gets into your head it is very difficult to resist!" The others were like us and appeared like small dots. As I watched them moving all over the globe I was heartened and filled with joy due to our numbers but a voice said, "And again" and I wept aloud as I saw the dots blinking out as other dots, blood red ones, surrounded them and I knew they were being martyred by the thousands, the millions. And we knew our time would soon come and that was alright; we hadn't thought to survive. "But please Oh God not yet! There is still much to do!" I looked at my friend and he half smiled and said, "Let's dance," and I was comforted because he had Old Man Witty's knowing about him. We move on.
We began to dance and others danced and we knew joy then but it would not last.
And then we were in an ancient stone city and I realized we had been there the whole time. We had never been anywhere else. Then we heard running feet and solders, orders were barked, and we heard crying in the distance. As the soldiers approached us and aimed we raised our hands and together went we Home.
And we laughed.
Looking down we saw missiles filling and traversing the skies. The Dark Cloud that covered the earth became as black as darkest night. We heard a piercing scream and the sound of shattering glass. As a Shofar sounded, we found ourselves hurling downward into the blackness and the smoke and dust and the blood and the death.
Suddenly there was a glorious flash and the air turned blue. A canape seemed to enshroud the globe of the earth. I asked someone (I don't know who) what this meant and she said, Just see!
And I looked and as far as the eye could see the bloody and filthy world was being replenished and refreshed. The Dark Cloud was no more and plants and flowers were blooming and cows were mooing and children were playing and people were rejoicing and the Kingdoms of this world had become the Kingdom of our God.
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