Welcome to John of AllFaith's MyStory True Stories That Changed My Life

Part Five: The Nineties

Go to Part One

Greetings and Welcome to MyStory!

I settled in Santa Cruz California, a couple of hours south of the Bay Area and my son. At that time, I again returned to my Christian roots for a while and began attending Christian services. There I made many friends and soon began preaching at their services, offering Bible studies, and so on.

I rented a small apartment across from the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. My son came down every other weekend and spent most summers with me. Allowing for my health problems, things couldn't have been much better.

Once I was set up in Santa Cruz, I began dating occasionally and became more socially active than I had been in many years, though I remained quite ill. I also began visiting the area spiritual communities such as the Caitanya Math on Rodeo Gulch Road and so on. Mainly however I was waiting on God on direction. I wasn't recovered but I had learned how to live with the illnss.

At the church I sometimes attended my son made friends with a boy four years his senior (The same age as my first son would have been had he survived I painfully realised) and so whenever my son came down to visit he always asked if this boy could come and stay with us. I knew his mom, who was single, in passing from church, but as her son began spending more time with us, she decided to find out more about me. To make a long story short, we hit it off. I eventually moved in with her, and we became one big happy family.

In 1999, I had my longest remission of the illness to date. During this period, along with long time friend and ministry partner Rev. Eden Jakajebarga-Bell, her wife Laura and Andrea (Ahuva), I co-founded Grace Inclusive Church in Santa Cruz, Ca. We taught that God's love for all who desired it. A revolutionary idea I was told.

Also during this period, I made plans for what was to be known as the Rainbow Cross Walk, a public declaration of God's love for everyone under the rainbow. I planned to carry a 12x6 ft. wooden cross, cloaked with a large rainbow flag, from Santa Cruz, through San Jose and into a sister church in San Francisco. I had previously carried such a cross from Atlanta to San Antonio, as stated above, and now, in part as a declaration that God had restored my health and life, I planned to do a similar, though much shorter walk again. This event was cancelled however when my health unexpectedly collapsed and the symptoms of my illness returned with a vengeance. To the right, Pastor Eden and I at Grace Inclusive, to the left, Andrea and I at Twin Lakes Beach. Below and to the right is the cross I planned to carry.

I met Rev. Aaron Zerah (with me to the left) at an Interfaith service and decided to earn an ordination from his Interfaith Seminaries in Santa Cruz Ca (which has now merged with East-West Seminary).

In January 2001, my son had an extended temporal lobe seizure that lasted for several hours. At that time, it looked as though he might have ongoing medical problems. Andrea and I moved to the Bay Area town of Vallejo so we could help care for him and Pastor Eden accepted the reigns of our church. Thankfully, his doctors were able to treat the seizures with medication and today he is just fine.

I don't think its accurate to say that I was angry with God for allowing my illness to return, sorely disappointed and surprised yes, but not really angry. I had long ago given God my 'permission' to do anything with me He wanted. But my son's health was a different matter. These health problems required me to reevaluate certain things I had accepted as facts and had taught others. I understood that "bad things happen to good people," but I'd had enough. "Ask and you will receive," "Knock and the door will be opened," I believed such promised. Why had the door slammed shut in my face? I still didn't question God's existence, but I did question the beliefs under which I was serving Him.

Among the differences between Judaism, Christianity and Islam, is that Judaism tends to focus on God as a near yet typically non-intervening force in our lives. Islam has God more removed from human affairs than Judaism. Certainly, Allah could intervene if He chose to, but He has more important things to do than care for the likes us. For Christianity however, God is an active participant in our lives. He knows how many hairs are on our heads, He cares when a sparrow falls to the ground, and, as a good and loving father, He watches over each of us personally. So... why had he abandoned me? That's too harsh... But the question remained. I was doing everything in my power to serve God and obey His Word and leadership... to bring people to Jesus... and now again He had allowed me to collapse without any notice or warning into this damnable illness and He did nothing to help me. Not only that, but He allowed my son to be hit with a seizure disorder! Of course, He may have led the doctors to the correct medications, but why had it taken them so long to find the right ones and, for that matter, why had He allowed the disorder in the first place? A good father would not do this!

No, it was time for me to move on spiritually. I didn't question God, but I seriously questioned the Christian understanding of Him. It's not the same thing!

What a short strange trip its been!

Conclusion

	Welcome to John of AllFaith's AllFaith.com Visit the AllFaith.com web sites
	AllFaith.com: Home Page
	AllFaith.com: AllFaith Spirituality
	Ask a Question or Read My Answers! (in association with Allexperts.com)
	AllFaith.com: Religious Studies
	AllFaith.com: Hindu Studies
	AllFaith.com: Sikh Studies
	AllFaith.com: Noahide Way
	AllFaith.com: Jewish Studies
	AllFaith.com: Buddhist Studies
	AllFaith.com: Pagan Studies
	AllFaith.com: Humor Pages
	AllFaith.com: Islamic Studies
	Contact John of AllFaith